KopTalk.com Forums The Joke Thread (Keep it clean fella's)

Let me just add i know the Angelina Jolie jokes are in very bad taste, i do not mind jokes about Saville, BBC, Boston, 9/11 etc but for me cancer is the cut off point, that said i did laugh a little at them but just want to make my stance clear on this

Oh mate you shouldnt have said that! Im bad when people tell me their cut off points, always pushing the boat out. Having said that Im pretty sure il turn the whole forum against me if I turn on you( due to the fact youre the only one who doesnt view my jokes as incredibly sick and distasteful) so il say nothing, even though im currently remembering every cancer joke ive ever heard.

Oh btw, I would just like to add that our thoughts are with Brad Pitt at this tough time.

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

Ok so Hunter has been banned so I guess its up to me to take care of this thread for the meantime...........<echo>meantime <echo> .........yea thought as much

I know! hopefully some Alex Ferguson jokes will attract some reds into the joke thread!