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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
Originally Posted By: lumba
Holy Shittt! Not really sure where to post this but seems like this thread needs a bit of help.

http://www.boltedmedia.com/brazilian-pas...ined-holy-milk/



Tha fuckk!!! shocked


Pete: Berg, I'm just not cut out to be a good person.
Berg: I know. That's why the Lord gave us good looks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkzkmyOln6I
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 23,084
Liverpool Legend
Liverpool Legend
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 23,084


That job interview was going so well until I realized I was fukked up on acid in the middle of a cornfield naked and talking to a scarecrow.
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Ohhh this is golden, very offensive though.

Genies are tricky little fuuckers and will always try to twist what you wish for.

For example, last night I wished that my flat-chested wife could have tits like Angelina Jolie.

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Following her double mastectomy, Angelina Jolie has said

"The hardest thing was trying to explain my decision to my children."


Probably because you don't speak African, love.

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
I've made it crystal clear to my wife that I am not going to help out with her Mother's funeral arrangements.

After all , I didn't ask for any help in arranging her death.

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
My daughter was doing her homework the other evening when she said to me "Dad, would you mind cutting something out for me?".

I said "Sure honey, like what?"

She replied "Well, coming into my bedroom at night for starters".

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
If you believe in astrology and think the position of distant stars can affect your daily life, I can tell exactly what day you were born on.

Yesterday.

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Stephen Hawking is just Albert Einstein starting a new game on Hard mode.

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Some people have a 'lucky number' and most people regard '13' as an unlucky number.

Except Angelina Jolie who really hates the number '55378008'.

Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
Under 18 Player
Under 18 Player
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 583
When Angelina told Brad Pitt she needed to get something off her chest,

I bet he wishes it was an affair

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