(By Chris Bascombe, NOTW)
ABANDON the Google search, shred the glossy investment brochure that lured you to Liverpool FC and dismiss the conclusions of your due diligence.
Whatever you think you know about the club you're about to buy, forget it.
The surest way to arouse suspicion among your new fans is to proclaim you understand and empathise with The Kop. They already know you don't. It would be ridiculous to expect you to so soon.
So resist the urge to scrawl out a list of transparent soundbites and wave a Liverpool scarf ahead of your introductory Press Conference. Do some meaningful research instead.
Pay no attention to the city businessmen who talk with their heads about why Liverpool is a sound investment.
Meet those who engage with their hearts.
Go to the Liverpool FC Supporters Club on Anfield's Lower Breck Road, order a pint, take a seat and listen.
Absorb the fans' stories, hear their fears, understand their aspirations and recognise their parochial peculiarities.
Ask about each of the glorious images adorning the walls and demand to know their historical context.
Do the same when you see the memorials to those forever mourned.
Do not do this once. Do it repeatedly to ensure you avoid the pitfalls of your predecessors.
You may believe your £300million has bought you a sporting institution. That would be a mistake.
You have burdened yourself with the hopes of hundreds of thousands of lives in a city where the football club is God.
Understand the office of chairman of one of Merseyside's football clubs carries more political, social and cultural responsibility than that of the city's Lord Mayor. Even Liverpool's cathedrals have abandoned their claims to exclusivity on the city's spiritual well-being.
You will be asked to be part-time ruthless businessman, part-time social worker, part-time Parish priest and part-time charitable benefactor. Within a matter of months you will be expected to have a full grasp of the club's glories and traumas. Memorising the dates of those moments of triumph and tragedy won't be enough. You must instantly understand and support the fans' ongoing struggles on their most poignant anniversaries.
You will be urged to recognise every Bill Shankly quote, know the words to every Kop chant and the identity of the scorer of the winning goal in the 1981 European Cup semi-final.
If you win the trust of the people of Liverpool, they will not only support you, they'll applaud you, they'll thank you, they'll hold aloft mosaics for you, write plays about you, make a legend of you and build a statue in your honour.
If you fail and try to cheat them, you will be hounded out like your compatriots with your reputation irreparably soiled.
To succeed at Anfield you must be modest but confident; feisty but wary; tolerant but cynical; patient but ultra-demanding.
But most of all, to succeed at Liverpool you must be everything Tom Hicks and George Gillett were not.
You must be honest.
Chris Bascombe
