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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185 |
I was delighted when my daughter showed me her GCSE results.
When she leant over I got a good look at her tits. On that note congrats to any Koptalk members who got their results today. Hope you all did well 
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185 |
Never argue with an idiot...
Or she may refuse to give you sex.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185 |
I don't understand how anybody can doubt Robert Mugabe's popularity.
The man consistently gets 110% of the presidential vote for goodness' sake.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185 |
GCSE's? Who needs them, I've been lying on my CV for years and no fuckker has checked them. B in maths? I can't even count to B.
Last edited by Hendominator; 22/08/13 12:41 PM.
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 23,084
Liverpool Legend
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Liverpool Legend
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 23,084 |
Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub, one says "Pass the soap." The other one says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"
That job interview was going so well until I realized I was fukked up on acid in the middle of a cornfield naked and talking to a scarecrow.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185 |
Liverpool vs Notts County
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 7,446
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 7,446 |
Liverpool vs Notts County amen to that brother! 
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 27,628
Liverpool Legend
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Liverpool Legend
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 27,628 |
Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.
We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments "I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please. O'Leary scowled, but paid up.
He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro." "I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame". "I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir" O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."
O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager". "Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"
"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!" "Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second" "
I will never use this bar again "OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
IF YOU WANT TO BE HEARD SPEAK SOFTLY - BOB PAISLEY
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185
1st Team Squad
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1st Team Squad
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5,185 |
 Brilliant!
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 683
Under 18 Player
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Under 18 Player
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 683 |
Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.
We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments "I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please. O'Leary scowled, but paid up.
He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro." "I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame". "I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir" O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."
O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager". "Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"
"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!" "Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second" "
I will never use this bar again "OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
Hahaha that is fantastic
No,this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs.Reality itself is too twisted.
We can't stop here, this is bat country!
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