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"history is written by men who have hanged heroes"

-braveheart

Let me tell you the story of Right Hand, Left Hand. It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: it was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: static. One hand is always fighting the other hand, and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that's right. Ooh, it's a devastating right and Hate is hurt, he's down. Left-Hand Hate KOed by Love.

Are you Remy LeBeau?

Do I owe you money?

No.

Then Remy LeBeau I am!

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed.

Man in Black: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either.

I couldn't believe that she knew my name, some of my best friends didnt know my name.

You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

Blondie: [counting reward sums of outlaws he just killed] Ten thousand... twelve thousand... fifteen... sixteen... seventeen... twenty-two. Twenty-two?

[a cowboy comes from behind, Blondie turns and shoots him dead]

Blondie: ...Twenty-seven.

Col. Douglas Mortimer: Any trouble, boy?

Blondie: No, old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It's all right now.

Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Matilda: I became...

Hansel: What?

Matilda: Bulimic.

Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

Cheech: Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights,
they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too.
Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and Chemma
and have a son in law named Jeff.
Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning
but they have to so they do it real slow.
Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school
and take Spanish and get a B.
Mexican Americans love their nanas and their nonos
and their ninas and their ninos, nanoo nanoo nina nonoo!
Mexican Americans don't like to go to the movies where the
dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown
cause don't it make my brown eyes blue.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHegSV-Ad3U