KopTalk.com Forums The Joke Thread (Keep it clean fella's)

Tough game for Liverpool at the weekend.

Football.

The "N" Word


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hULhZqhw9yU

The joined population of cork and dublin is about 2 million, lets say 50% are men, now have you met the 1 million men of cork and dublin and can you confirm that they are all [oops]?

No of course not that would be ridiculous. Note the words "usually" and "in my experience" btw I'm basing this on the GAA fans. Not even aimed so much at cork but the dirty dubs!

If you kill yourself , it's called suicide .
If you kill someone , it's called homicide .
If you kill thousands , it's called genocide .
If you kill the King , it's called regicide .
If you kill your brother , it's called fratricide .
And , if you have 2 Premier League teams , and neither have won the League for over 20 years , it's called Merseyside .

Now I've got nothing against the Jewish people but sometimes they cause trouble.

For example, just this morning I had to try and stop three little Jewish boys from trying to break the lock on the trunk of my car.

I had to say, "Shut up! You're in there for a reason!"

"What the [oops]'s this?" I screamed as I shoved the phone in her face, "you taking a big, black cock up your arse."

"You need to open your eyes and look carefully" she said.

"Look, is that a niggers cock fuucking that arse or not?" I insisted.

"That bit's right" she said, "but it's your fuucking phone."

Four women are attending a group therapy session to help them deal with their addictions when,one week, the therapist asked them to bring their kids along.

After the session was finished he addressed the first woman:"Barbara, you are addicted to food. This is evident from the fact you've named your daughter "Candy""

He then turned to the second woman and said: "Mary, you are addicted to material goods. This is evident from the fact you've named your daughter"Mercedes""

To the third woman he said"Alex, you are addicted to alchohol. We can see this from the way you've named your daughter"Brandy""

Before he can get to the fourth woman she stands up and says to her son" Comon Dick lets go!"

I found a video on my wife's phone of me shagging her.

I don't remember filming this but it must have been on holiday, I've got a great tan and my cock looks massive.