May 9, 2011
Dear Mr./Sir/King Kenny Dalglish
I am writing to you to "fix it for me" to have my husband's heart & undivided attention back please. It's been missing since 8th January 2011, the date you were appointed caretaker manager at LFC. Granted, despite the dodgy tracksuits, you're not Jimmy Saville but I thought I'd give it a shot cause since this date the following changes have taken place;
* My husband has regressed back to childhood and no longer talks, he now shouts excitedly punctuating every 2nd sentence with 'Dalglish'.
* He has taken up five-a-side footy (at the age of 34) in the desperate belief his life long dream of training with you at Anfield will now come true (seriously!!)
* He no longer sits down to watch LFC matches - he stands two inches away from the telly talking animatedly to the players and to you....you can hear him right? Well the neighbours 5 doors down can.
* He religiously follows all levels of LFC football so every morning I awake to a story about you & LFC, the team, fixtures, injuries, statistics, antidotes, quotes, photos, trivia, the youth players etc..... and again each evening without fail. Without fail.
* He mentions your name more than mine.... (that's a tough one to swallow I have to admit)
* Since your return his dream of scoring the winning goal to lift the Premiership title for LFC has returned, so at night I endure the dreaming, the tossing & turning and the kicking - I have the bruises to prove it.
* He joined Twitter to follow you & all things LFC related. This wouldn't have been a big deal only I work in Social Media and spent the previous year trying to get him on Twitter with no success. One word got him on @kennethdalglish (he's @cookiedub1 in case you want to tell him to put on the 1986 kit he still has & join the team!)
* And lastly when asked what his happiest memory was, he smiled broadly with emotion welling up in his eyes and proudly announced .......your appointment as caretaker manager of LFC ...... eh we were only recently married at the time!!
So Kenny I'm a realist there's probably no chance he's going to change, he's LFC to the core. It appears that at the altar he failed to mention there's another bird I'll be sharing him with for life - the Liver Bird. The only thing I ask is that you don't break his heart, you sign a permanent contract, get knighted and keep doing what you're doing because despite all of the above you've taken 20 years off him already & given me endless weekends away shopping in Liverpool!
Your sincerely
The Wife.
(Source:
http://ginabowes.posterous.com/dear-mrsirking-kenny-dalglish)
