Fernando Torres Goal Aid: an important update
Several weeks ago a goalscoring tragedy hit the Premier League when Fernando Torres went five games without finding the net for Chelsea. Now things are becoming even more desperate.
Not just unable to score, the 27-year-old World Cup winner has now lost his pace and the ability to control a ball with his first touch. Frankly, we've never seen such an expensive disaster hit these footballing shores.
MTW would like to call for you to send any goals, go faster stripes and spare first touches you may have lying around the house that you could donate to the Spaniard.
The address, as ever, is: Mr Fernando Torres, Chelsea No.9, Stamford Bridge, London, England.
There was a mix-up with the previous batch of goals sent to this address, for which MTW can only apologise. For some inexplicable reason goals dispatched to the above were rerouted to a Mr Daniel Sturridge of Bolton.
If this crisis continues into the summer months, please send your goals, running boots and first touches to: Mr Fernando Torres, Job Centre, London, England.
Please, give anything you've got to help this poor man in these testing times. Every little trapped ball and inch of pace counts.