He claims it wasn't up his jumper............
'The biggest one was the toilet seat,' he says. 'I was with a mate who was doing up his bathroom and he wanted to buy a set where you get everything together. I'd never bought a bathroom like that in my life, and neither had he, so we banged it on the trolley. But we took out the toilet seat and got another one that had a slow-close lid so it wouldn't trap his kid's fingers.
What we didn't know was that it was £2.35 more than the one that should have been in the box. Then we went through the till, my mate paid for it and then this security guy stopped us and said he had been watching us on CCTV and seen us swapping the toilet seats.
'We just burst out laughing, thinking where's Jeremy Beadle. But he said, "No, this is serious, the police are on their way". We just looked at each other as if to say, "Are you winding us up?". But the police turn up. We're crying our eyes out laughing. The police are laughing. I said to the security guy, "Look mate, can we pay the £2.35?". He said, "No, this is a serious offence, blah, blah blah".
'So the police give us two options -either go to court and fight it out or pay the 70 quid on-the-spot fine. We couldn't be bothered going to court so we paid the fine but, doing that, it obviously made us look guilty and the next day it's everywhere that we've been caught shoplifting. But what sort of thief walks through the till and pays for his stuff? If I'm a thief I'm strapping it to my back and bolting it!'
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footbal...g-Mourinho.html