KopTalk.com Forums The Joke Thread (Keep it clean fella's)

My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with.

"Eleven," I replied.

"Wow! You must be a player," she laughed.

"No," I said, "I'm their coach."

So Rolf Harris is a paedophile?

Turns out he was doing more than singing two little boys.

Is it me, or as each day goes by is it getting harder to tell the difference between the queen's honours list and the sex offenders register?

When a man ejaculates, he comes at twenty miles per hour.

Which means it's perfectly safe to hit a child.

Whats hard and rocky?

Sylvester Stallone

Slow joke day lads......lad?........anyone?

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know, two can be as bad as one its e loneliest number since the number one.........

My wife says she's going to kill me of I call her a dog one more time.

I'm not scared though. Her bark is worse than her bite.

I couldn't believe it when the social services took my children into care after my wife died, saying that I couldn't cope.

I never thought they would fall for it.

So Tony Pulis has left Stoke City after 7 years.

The grass at the Britannia must be delighted about the prospect of actually getting a touch of the ball.