Our forwards are now very like our defenders, floundering in a state of unrelenting panic every time the ball wanders aimlessly into their nesting ground, creating a flurry of undirected and mostly sporadic movement, heads spin, arms swing and legs lash, creating accidental contact with that loose uncontrolled leather bound sphere called a football that wanders directionless, until it strikes a boot or more often a shin usually on it's underside, whereupon it soars skywards into the gaping and incredulous crowd, or alternatively into the grateful arms of a leering and sneering goalkeeper. This ingenious if unorthodox style of attack is now known as high press and heavy metal among an eagerly salivating section of our bemused fan base! Lookout Chelsea, United and City, be afraid, be very afraid, Liverpool football club is back!
