KopTalk.com Forums Football Liverpool FC Forum King Kenny's letter to FSG

I wonder if King Kenny has started compiling his report for FSG and what would be in it. This is my mock up below but what do you think it would be do you have a version of the letter?

Dear Mr Henry (Is it ok if I call you John?)

You asked me to put down why things are not going so well in the league.

Well as you know I have been out of the game for over a decade however in the time I was out of the game I spend every day on Royal Birkdale engrossed in the game I love golf. And I simply forgot in football you need to score MORE points than your opponent it was a chance conversation with Steve Clarke that reminded me of the difference. We had a good laugh about it afterwards but anyway the other matter affecting our performance is very clear indeed, its bad luck. We have a plan to correct this as of today I will be scouring ebay for a rabbits foot and fortunately the Anfield cat (a tabby) has run off in the spurs game in a similar manner to our season ticket holders. We will be replacing him next season with a black cat trained to run across the players entrance before they come onto the field. We have arranged via a pulley system for a artificial mouse to be pulled across the entrance, that was all my idea John. We have also noticed the number of times we have hit the post and it’s bounced back (see bad luck above) so for next season we are going to smear butter on the insides of the posts and the Anfield joiner is going to shave 2cm off the width of them. You can be assured if you give me another £112m I will build a team to take us to 4th place next year and I should be able to get a £1m from selling on the players we bought last year making up next year’s £113m allowance. So you can see John things are progressing well and only those with very poor intelligence are unable to see our steady Shankly like progress and I have met the target you set me which was the carling cup at least I think you said the Carling Cup “top 4” “Carling Cup” yeah that was what you said right? Although I accept my hearing is not what it once was. Finally can I direct you to the kit deal with Warrior which was all down to my efforts and more than make’s up for that champion’s league which is very overrated and that foreign food plays havoc with my dicky tummy and don’t trust them foreigners. Oh but apart from you John of course and the lovely Linda lovely dress she had on last time at Anfield all the lads commented favourably.

So John no issues at all then? I will write you another letter May 2013.

Kind Regards

King Kenny YNWA

So Heggy, it's as many of us thought.

You are more interested in being proved right than you are in the clubs future.

As long as you are right, that's all that matters to you.

Most of us want the club to progress and dont care who thinks they are right or wrong.